Today one of the prompts on my website is: What makes a good neighbor? I think about this periodically. I don’t have a ton of neighbors very close, but we have a few. But, if we think about, who is my neighbor, anyone I meet or come in contact with can be my neighbor.

Recently my Church has had a focus on being peacemakers and being kind or neighborly to those around us, so I thought I would share some of my thoughts on this subject.

I grew up in a neighborhood, and I had the wonderful example of my parents to help me see how neighbors act toward and treat one another. I remember so many winters shoveling snow all along our street. Older folks driveways who couldn’t get out to shovel, younger people’s walks who just hadn’t gotten to them yet. I actually really enjoyed shoveling snow as long as it wasn’t too heavy.

I remember at Christmas, my mom would make candy or bake orange rolls, or some sort of treat, and then we would take them around to all the neighbors. If it was young families, we would ding dong ditch, leaving the plate of goodies on the porch. Older folks we would wait for them to come to the door and give them the treat. We enjoyed doing this as well and have done so with my kids as they grew up.

My parents have helped care for yards, given assistance with repairs of homes, cleaned out curbs of leaves and debris, helped move people in and out of the neighborhood, cared for neighbor kids, brought meals to sick families, or those just needing a little extra care.

Reading this, you may think I grew up in the ideal neighborhood, everyone caring, agreeing, no fights or problems. I do have to say, it was a nice quiet neighborhood, most people getting along most of the time. But there were disagreements, people didn’t always agree with how the neighbors cared for their yards, how many cars there were, how many renters were allowed in some of the homes, and on and on.

But the ability to care for one another wasn’t about the disagreements. When someone needed help, you just helped them. We lived our lives and allowed others to live theirs as they saw fit. We didn’t always agree with how they saw fit, but it wasn’t our business and how we saw fit wasn’t theirs.

We live in a world where neighborly kindness is disappearing. I think it’s because people want to control what’s not rightly theirs to control, the choices of others. They try to control through peaceful means initially, but that usually deteriorates to name calling, shunning, shaming, and sometimes physical attacks, trying to make someone conform to the beliefs or perspective of the other.

So, back to the original question, what makes a good neighbor? In my opinion, a good neighbor is someone you can count on when the chips are down. Someone you know you can call if a need arises, and that you know will show up for you. Being that person makes me a good neighbor. Sharing and caring, allowing others to be themselves without judgement or trying to change them and being allowed to do the same.

Sometimes as a parent, we have had opportunity to help people we weren’t comfortable with our children being around. That’s ok too, it’s important to protect our family first. But even if the help has to come from a distance, something can still be done.

When my kids were little I found a book that illustrates what a neighbor is very well. It’s called The Flower Man by Mark Ludy. There are no words in the book, only pictures, but it’s a very powerful book about being a good neighbor. I would highly recommend it. The pictures in this post remind me a lot of that book.