One of the prompts today was the question: Are you a good judge of character? I found that intriguing, because I am not actually sure, so here are my thoughts.

I like to give most people the benefit of the doubt. I go into most situations with an open mind, ready to accept people as they are. I don’t feel like I have too many biases or judgements based upon people’s chosen lifestyles, race, gender, etc. If they are a decent human being I try my best to listen, be kind, be helpful, whatever the situation is dictating.

Interestingly, I have found most people receptive to kindness and a listening ear, so I haven’t had very many negative experiences with people overall. I also tend to be a people watcher, I don’t like being the center of attention, so I listen much more than I speak, I form my opinions, and I usually work through those opinions only with people I trust not to judge the other person based on my interactions.

I don’t like to judge people based upon experiences of others either. When I have the chance to meet someone I tend to disregard negative things people say about the person, rather wanting to get a feel and sense myself first. If someone warns of danger, I do take that into higher consideration, but otherwise I would prefer to judge based upon my own experiences. Everyone clicks differently with people, so one person’s bad experience with another can often be isolated to the different personalities rather than a character flaw of either.

Having said all that, I do make snap judgements quite often. I think that’s part of our fight or flight mechanism though. Is it safe, is it not, should I avoid or interact. Part of that has to do with what the world calls the gut instinct. I call it the Holy Ghost warning of danger. Either way, I tend to try and listen to those thoughts, especially when I’m by myself.

I guess overall, based upon the above mentioned thoughts, I am probably not the best judge of character at the beginning. I don’t feel like I can judge someone based upon a single meeting. By the end of a lengthy meeting, I do feel like I have some solid opinions of people, things like whether or not I want to continue associating with that person, how much effort I might put in, how easy it’s going to be to work with that person, if I want to pursue a friendship or just remain acquaintances, whether we’ll be friendly acquaintances or just people who say hi in passing, etc.

Having said that though, I am the worst about hanging out or doing things with others outside my family. I get so busy with my kids, my Church, and my business that I forget to get out and see people. I don’t mind being by myself, in fact, I really enjoy it for the most part, so I forget that other people don’t like it as well and would enjoy spending time or visiting.

I guess to sum me up I: am not a good judge of character initially; enjoy people when I am around them; prefer not to be around people other than family probably 60% of the time; long-term a pretty good judge of character, but only after I have gotten to know them a little bit. How about you?