Yesterday when I took my husband and one of our sons lunch at the job they’re working on, we got to talking about whether my husband is still our son’s hero. He is 19 years old, and his dad was always his hero. But, knowing that kids grow up, I wondered.

He said that in some ways his dad is still his hero. I didn’t ask him to elaborate, but I felt like maybe it was a safe answer since they were sitting there eating lunch together.

This made me think. When we are kids, our parents are our world. We want to be just like them, they’re our hero’s. Most parents work hard to teach and help their kids to the best of their abilities. But no parent is perfect.

As we all started growing up and seeing more of the world, most people start realizing how imperfect their parents are, usually during their teenage years when they know everything, or at least more than their parents. They see the best side of their friends parents, or sometimes the worst side of other classmates parents. They go through waves of gratitude and then lack of understanding of why and how they were raised as they were.

There are things we all loved about our homes and childhoods that we want to incorporate into our own homes. But there are also other things that some might want to discard either because it truly should be (abuse for example), or because we don’t understand the purpose behind it, such as discipline and why it’s so important.

As we get into our early 20’s and get out on our own, making our own way, and especially when we start having kids of our own, we start seeing more clearly. Our parents suddenly become smarter again, that hero status starts to return. Hopefully over the years each one of us have grown and become better, especially as parents. But often, it isn’t that the parent is any smarter, but that the child has gained more understanding and awareness.

I don’t remember my parents ever not being my hero’s, I had a great relationship with them even during my teen years. But I do remember not understanding different aspects of parenting and why they chose to do things the way they did. As I have learned and grown however, I see the wisdom in so much of what they did and how they raised me and my siblings.

I feel like my husband and I have a pretty great relationship with all of our kids, but as they start leaving home, I hope they can look back and see that my husband and I did the best we could. We weren’t always right, hopefully we course corrected when we should, but we did try our best.

However they decide to parent I’m sure will be awesome, and it will be something they are their spouse will have to figure out together. Someday they’ll have little mini’s that idolize them for awhile. It’s a fun circle of life to be witness to, I wish I could have seen it earlier in my life. I’m grateful for my kids and what they’ve taught me, especially how they’ve helped me see my parents, and my husband’s parents (because they’re awesome too!), as my hero again and again over the years.