learn to work – Stephanie Richey Art

Yesterday we spent the day working with our kids. We had to finish getting the last of our woodshed filled before winter. We have been cutting down the dead spruce trees on the driveway to our house and to my mother-in-laws house. We have had several fires in recent years near our home, and the dead spruce creates hot, fast burning fires, that are hard to stop. So we cut it down and use it for firewood. We have also been trying to get the trees along the road that have the most potential of falling across the road in the winter.

All of our kids who are home on the day of wood cutting get to help. It’s help or your don’t stay warm in the winter. It’s not a matter of want to, or not want to. It’s a matter of – it needs to be done. Our only heat source is wood, so do it or freeze is where we are at. We cut the wood into 4 foot lengths, and the trees are usually no more than 12 inches in diameter, usually around 6-8 inches for the majority of the length of the tree. We don’t need to split it because it’s been dead long enough that it’s completely dry, and 4 foot lengths fit perfectly into our boiler, but they are also kind of heavy. As I watched the kids get to work, there was only a bit of grumbling when they were getting ready to walk out the door. My husband’s goal was 2 loads to finish off the year, and each load takes about 2 1/2 hours to complete.

Once they get to work, they don’t complain, and they usually finish feeling like they have accomplished something. It’s amazing how watching the woodshed fill up to the top makes you realize the benefit of a job well done. They don’t need anyone telling them it’s a job well done either, they can see it as they stack it up. But, as I was watching them yesterday I wondered how many of the other teens their ages were working that day. It was Saturday after all, and many of them don’t have jobs to go to. How do they spend their time? Would they last through 5 hours of heavy manual labor? Now, we don’t do that every day, and we are definitely not perfect in getting every job done when it should be done, or making sure our kids are always working. But they have learned throughout their lives how to persevere and do a good job, no matter how long the job takes.

There are so many help wanted signs posted everywhere now. So many businesses that are begging for employee’s. Some maybe don’t pay super good, some of the jobs aren’t very fun, but most of the jobs aren’t that difficult. And yet, we see people begging for money and handouts, teens that spend hours on end with a device in their hands, or playing video games, completely detached from society as a whole. None of them contributing to society in any real, productive way. I have thought a lot about this rising generation. Many of them have not been taught to work, not been taught to see a job through to the end, and not been taught perseverance in completing a job that is not fun to do, but still needs to be done.

Knowing how to work is a learned behavior. But some people seem to have more of a personal drive to get things done than other people. But, that doesn’t mean it can’t be learned if we put our minds to it. I remember when I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter. We had been living in a travel trailer for 7 years, and we were moving that out of our shop so we could set up the shop as more of a house while we finished our real house. I had been working at it for weeks, and was not finished when I gave birth to baby number 2. I was so tired when my Mom came and I was so grateful to have her there to help me. She went right to work getting everything moved out and cleaned up. It was such a relief to have the help. I asked my mom what kept her going. I can’t remember exactly what she said, but what I remember and learned from the conversation, was to not look at the whole job all at once. Just start working, just start taking chunks and completing them. Pretty soon, the job is done. Sometimes we have to stop and make sure we’re going in the right direction, but do everything you can right then, and then move on to the next thing you can do, and so on until the job gets done. I have remembered that ever since, and when I feel like a job is going to be too big, I just start with whatever I can complete right then, and move to the next, and the next. Pretty soon, just like the woodshed being full, the job is done.

I am grateful my parents taught me how to work, and that we live in such a way that our kids have had the opportunity to work as well. So much of life is just about jumping in and moving forward. So many things in life don’t get accomplished because people aren’t willing to jump in. What do you do to teach your kids to work hard? How do you break up large projects into manageable pieces?

This Saturday, as well as several previous, intermittent days, we have been cutting wood. Our only heat source is wood, so we need to have it taken care of before winter comes, and we have to do it every year. As our boys, my husband, and I were working, I had time to think about the many years we have been collecting wood, and how our children have helped at different ages. When they were little, it was usually carrying the wood from one location to the other, whether from the splitter to the wood stack, or the wood stack to the wheelbarrow to take it in to burn. They were, and still are, required to do what they are capable of doing. But their skill set has increased over the years.

When they were little it was just the hauling. As they grew, they learned how to stack a woodpile so that it didn’t tip on anyone during the winter, how to make it safe. As they continued to grow, they learned how to load the log splitter while I split the wood, and then, they learned to run the splitter. At first with a whole lot of supervision, but now, we trust them more than a lot of adults we know, to be safe, run it properly, and take good care of it. As they have gotten older they have each learned to run the chainsaws (girls and boys), when they felt comfortable, and when we felt like they could do so safely. My husband uses a large chainsaw, but we have 2 small chainsaws that we have taught them how to use properly and how to stay safe while doing so. Usually my husband cuts down the trees, but on the smaller trees he takes time to instruct the kids on how to cut, and how to make the trees fall where they want them to. It is amazing how much their help has sped up the wood cutting and hauling process, and especially amazing at how much more aware they are of what’s going on around them, even when they aren’t the ones cutting.

As I pondered upon the tree cutting, I also started to think about the ways we have taught our kids through the years. From simple chores like picking up toys, to bigger projects, like how to repair damage they have caused to vehicles when they were learning how to drive. It is interesting to me, to note how much more they appreciate the things they have to work on, haul, fix, clean, etc. Sometimes, I have forgotten the things my kids needed to learn though. As my oldest left home, she would ask for help filling out paperwork at the doctor, help with bank statements, help understanding bills, etc. Things that I had just always, automatically done, just because I was always there. One of my sons had to go to the doctor recently to get a Tdap booster shot. The nurse who checked us in gave him the paperwork. He started to hand it to me and I told him to fill it out. I was grateful the nurse handed it to him initially, as a reminder to myself to help him learn.

Over the years I have watched youth and young adults. I have learned that the kids who have been taught at home are more settled and better able to hand life when they get out on their own. When they have learned how to care for themselves, when they have learned how to care for their surroundings, then they can focus on other things in life, like their schooling, their jobs, their families. No parent is perfect, and no parent will think of everything their child should learn ahead of time. But it’s important to involve them in as much of daily life as possible. Teach them to cook, clean, use money wisely, save money, and most especially, just teach them how to work. No matter the person, someone who is a good worker is an asset to any company they work for, regardless of the work being performed. The ability to start, persevere through, and finish a job, is a skill that should be developed from childhood. How you go about doing that will depend on your circumstances. Not everyone hauls wood, works on a farm, or has their own business the kids can help at. But there are things around the home and community that can help kids learn how to work and develop life skills that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. I am grateful for the things my kids have learned, and that they will ask when they don’t know. I am grateful that I can keep helping them, and learning myself. What have you done in your family to develop life skills in your children?